The Narcissist/Co-dependent relationship dynamic can be a very complex one that is being openly discussed and recognised more and more.
One reason for this is that it is believed that Narcissistic behavioural traits of varying degrees are on the rise on our society for a variety of reasons.
If you have co-dependent tendencies or traits however and tend to attract narcissistic partners or friendships with unhealthy relationship dynamics it is so important to understand and heal the weak boundaries you may have etc. for your own wellbeing and happiness.
Unfortunately it is not uncommon for the co-dependent/narcissistic relationship to become toxic and can result in emotional, mental, physical or financial abuse.
One of the first steps is recognizing that you are in this relationship dynamic and then taking the steps that you need to take to keep yourself safe and put your wellbeing and happiness or every level first (something the codependent finds very hard to do.)
Frequently a narcissistic partner is uncooperative, selfish, goes hot & cold, lacks empathy, can be emotionally unavailable, emotionally volatile, dismissive of their partners needs and feelings and is often abusive.
As the partner of the narcissist you will probably feel very torn between your love and pain within the relationship, between staying and leaving. Your confidence and self esteem will often decrease as time passes. There is often a confusion or disappointment that the person they first met and fell in love with is no longer there and they wait in the hope that if they can just ‘be more’, ‘do more’ or ‘expect less’ they will find that love again.
Do you expend all of your energy in meeting your partner’s needs?
Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
Are you ‘walking on eggshells’ trying not to upset your partner?
Are you the one that is constantly making sacrifices in your relationship?
Symptoms of Codependency
– low self esteem
– wear or poor boundaries
– people pleasing
– finding it difficult to say no
– absorbing/taking on other peoples energy/emotions/feelings
– finding it difficult to communicate your thoughts, feelings and needs
– fear or rejection or abandonment resulting in dependency and needy behaviour
There are many different types of narcissists and their behavioural traits do not present in the same ways, from grandiose to covert, malignant and communal. It is important to remember that there is a spectrum of codependency or narcissism, you or your partner may have varying degrees of these traits but wanting the happiest, healthiest and most loving relationship possible is key now and into the future.
If you know that you are in or keep attracting these types of relationships or friendships the more you work on yourself as the co-dependent side of the dynamic the happier and healthier your future can be.